This week was good. Casual and good. I still think that I need to step up the curriculum, but now I'm wondering if maybe I just need more real life connection. The story we just read in class went really, really well. The students loved it. They didn't like the ending much but they connected with the characters in meaningful ways. I think the anticipation guide helped. At first, I was worried that spending an entire class on discussion was too long, but I know that it helped lay the groundwork for connecting with the story's characters.

Russ wants me to open up a little more with the students. But...I don't know. He doesn't really see me teach.

Sometimes I wonder if Franklin is a highly illegal high school. I know it is. The things that happen at Franklin cannot technically happen at most high schools, like the grading and the special education etc. So, I'm constantly feeling torn between defending the school in my mind and hoping they learn to play by the rules before they get caught. Are there many other schools that operate like Franklin? Maybe this doesn't make sense.

I think that I am open with students and, in a traditional school, I would already be too open with them. Russ thinks its a strength that I am a lesbian. He thinks I have some untold power over students. He thinks a lot of things about me. He has all of this confidence, but he is wrong. It's hard to believe what he says because he doesn't see me teach. Things seem so black and white to him, and I think I have been placing him on a pretty high pedestal.

I started by stress unit in health. I had a couple worksheets and conversations and activities planned. Russ had me tell 25 minutes worth of stories and then have the kids do book work for the rest of class. He firmly believes that stories from adults helps students. He talks for the first 30 minutes of each of his classes and then has students do book work or packet work or project work. His classes are amazingly boring. To me. I know for a fact that many students respect him as a teacher and enjoy the monotony of his classroom. They crave his predictability and photocopy skills.

I didn't think I would be, and I didn't want to be, but I am turning out to be that teacher who asks a lot of questions during class. I don't give many statements about the information, I just ask students a lot of questions. I make them figure out the answer that way. Just thinking about it makes me annoyed with myself. Some students respond well to this, but others find it a little condescending. I actually had a problem with Tyler the week before the accident.

So, it tough teaching the stress unit when Russ is in here and then teaching it again when he's not.

I've learned quickly that there are a limited number of students who are awake and motivated during class. I need these kids. They float class. I have most of them missing this week because of a few field trips. This is going to be an interesting week.

I am interested in going to see other alternative schools. I am going to try to visit some when all of these units are done. I'm not sure how that will go. Either Barlow will come up with his own stuff to teach, or I will make a lot of sub plans. I need to talk to him about it.

Some kids just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. One of my favorite students is a cutter. Mr. Barlow says that cutters just want attention.

This is not a hate on Mr. Barlow day. I really like him, but I also am starting to realize that he is not invincible.

Today, my moodiest student was happy. He was laughing and talking and participating, and I don't know why. Last week was tough for students, grading wise, because we were reading a lot so points were based on students who read aloud and students who contributed to the conversation. In a traditional school, it wouldn't have mattered whether you talked in class. Here is does sometimes.